One Year Ago Today

Lair & I were blessed with a 7 lbs 9 oz baby boy. Today our little man is one! It is still really hard to grasp just how quickly time seems to have passed us by. We have had an incredible year watching Jonas grow.

Feliz Cumpleanos a Jonas

Why Is Abortion Even An Option?

From the moment I found out that I was pregnant with Jonas I already had such an incredible connection to the little baby growing inside of me. Everything I did whether it be trying to handle my emotions or what I ate was all for this precious little gift that I had been given. I am eternally grateful to have been blessed with the most perfect child.

Recently a friend of mine told me about how her sister is pregnant & leaning towards abortion. I have such a hard time with all of my thoughts, it breaks my heart to know that she does not feel the same way about her baby that I felt for Jonas. I hate to even think about what she is doing or not doing to baby while it tries to grow inside of her - drinking, not eating healthy, missing crucial prenatal vitamins etc. I know that this does not concern me, but the whole thing is making me so emotional.

I am literally weeping today thinking about that poor baby who may never have a chance. Especially when I know in my heart of hearts that there are deserving people out there who would give anything to have a baby. Lair & I have some friends who have been trying for years to have a baby & have been unsuccessful. It has no doubtedly been tough for them to have to stand back & watch everyone else have baby after baby. They have gone to several doctors & have reveled that adoption is the only option they have. They have just begun the process & it really is a beautiful thing.

It pains me to know that there are ungrateful, immature, egocentric young girls & women who are able to have babies & decide to throw them out as if they did not matter, as if they weren't & aren't worthy, as if they were yesterday's garbage while
good, God loving, deserving people have to wait around, turn their lives upside down, shell out every dime to their name to be able to bring a baby home.

When are people going to stop being so effing selfish & think about someone else for a change? When are people going to get that abortion is murder? Define the word however you wish, termination, induced expulsion, etc. it wont change the fact that you are killing God's design.

In weeks 1-4 alone ovulation, conception & fertilization occur, baby's gender is assigned, the neural tube forms, a foundation is set for the nervous system, thought process, senses & feeling, the heart & circulatory system begins to form - all of this occurs often before the mother even realizes she is pregnant. Call me conservative, religious, right wing, self righteous, what have you - I'll call myself aware. I am conscious of things that are moral, I refuse to walk through this life foolishly believing that abortion is any sort of option.


*photo of a baby at four weeks gestation. already 2 inches in size.
*photo of a baby @ eight weeks gestation, the heart has already been beating for about 1 month.

Year 1 Nearly Completed

It's beginning to hit me, my precious baby boy, while still precious is only 9 days away from no longer being a baby. The feeling is bittersweet, watching him grow has been one of the single most rewarding experiences of my life.

He is so small & there is so much more world for him to explore & it really is gratifying watching him learn & take everything in. I pray that I have been doing a good job, that he grows up to love the Lord & lives according to the teachings in the Bible - that's not too much to ask for, I hope.

Now that 1 year is around the corner we have a lot of stuff to work on like walking & talking & of course perfecting self feeding & being weened from his bottle. I so wish we had some help all the way out here in Ohio, my mom would know exactly what to do. Maybe her not being here is a good thing, maybe then I have the chance to do it myself.

Wish me "luck" it's clear that I am sorta just winging it here, sure I visit parenting websites 3 times a week or more, I call my parents often, I flip through the stack of books I have & I pray a lot, but one can ever be prepared enough for parenthood. Call me crazy, but I am already thinking about baby #2.

Thanksgiving Morning

& so it begins, yet another winter
in North East Ohio,
my disdain grows
I need to stay positive
Ohio isn't forever
it is just for right now

Peeved

I dunno why it troubles me but it does... My husband takes longer to get ready in the morning then I do. No matter how late he is running he cannot take less than a 30 minute shower. What the what are you doing in there?

He shaves prior to hoping in, he brushes his teeth post shower, so exactly what is going on? I knew before I married him that he was a tad bit on the pampered side, but this has gotten to be ridiculous. When you are running late for work & by late I mean you set your alarm @ 6 am & it is now just after 8 there should be a fire under your ace the kind that makes you yell "oh shite" & gets you moving.

He is going to have a rude awakening when our water bill for the past year finally gets here (yeah that's right we have not gotten a water bill since acquiring this home in November of 2006).

Poor Girl

Beans & Ryce were playing in the yard & somehow Beans was hurt, it happened sometime yesterday, but we are still not sure how. I let them out in the yard while I took a shower just like I always do (Ryce is still a little pup & can't hold it for very long).

When I called them in neither of them came running right away, finally Ryce ran in & I had to walk out into the yard to find Beans. She was just sitting there licking herself covered in mud & dirt, it took her a minute, but she ran inside, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Ryce is a bit rambunctious & drives poor Beans crazy, to give her breaks I allow Beans to hang out in the kitchen where she cannot be bothered. Yeah, I know - 3 different kids in 3 different rooms.

When Lair came home from work Beans did not come running up to him like she always does. She is such a daddy's girl. That is when Lair knew something was up, he went over to her & yelled out @ me that Beans had a huge chunk missing from the side of her belly. The wound was a half dollar size hole in her side completely exposing her "meat" but not bleeding.

Lair said we should make an appointment to see the vet in the morning since it did not seem to be bothering her (& the playoffs were on), but I was thinking she needed to be seen asap. He thought I was over reacting, but I wouldn't let up - I googled some stuff on pet bites & cuts & then called her vet to get the pet emergency # & asked them what we should do, they had us come in right away.

When we got there they took her back & examined her, while we were waiting to hear the news we could hear a family crying because their dog was put down - I lost it. The sound of someone sobbing in the next room made me a little emotional.

The vet came in to say that Beans had more than likely fallen on something sharp in the yard (we were concerned she was bitten) & that she was running a serious fever. They kept her overnight & gave her a zipper. They cut the dead tissue surrounding her wound & stitched her up. Poor baby.

She seems to be doing better today, we have to take her in again on Monday. Until then she has a pill that we have to give her in the morning & some preinjected needles to stick her with before bed.

I Moved 'Em

I decided to join the ranks & convert my old blog to blogger!

Our House

Lately it seems as though I'll be stuck in this town so far away from home. I'm over it & ready to head back. Let's be honest for a moment, I was never under it. What I mean to say is that I never really gave this place a chance. Truth be told it is actually quite nice in that I love our house & will be so sad to say good bye to it someday. Lair & I have put so much love into fixing this place & making it ours. I can't even begin to explain how gnarly it was before we began the long & seemingly never ending process of restoring her. If only we could lift our house & have it moved on a fat bed with one of those bright yellow Wide Load caution ribbons on the back. If & when we move back to California we wont be able to buy a house right off the bat & that thought is a scary one. I parish the thought of having to rent again, especially since the last time we rented we had to take the landlord to court & are still waiting for him to pay up.

10 Random Things About Me

August 23, 2007 - Thursday

1. As a kid I used to do tongue exercises so that some day I could touch my tongue to my nose. The hours of training paid off.

2. I dream of becoming a member of the NRA.

3. I threw up after I was kissed for the very first time - I was in junior high, he was in high school. I had no clue that people used tongues.

4. I love singing & used to do it in front of people, even wanted to sing when I grew up, but now have this incredible paralyzing fear & an even better job - Ima mommy.

5. I recorded Michael Jackson's Thriller on VHS & learned all the moves.
Jealous?

6. I've read East of Eden more times than I can count.

7. I once broke up with a boy because of the sandals he wore, just the sight of them brought out anger & rage in me. Oh poor Danny.

8. I have a fear of being forgotten while I am all the way out here in Ohio.

9. I cannot stand to have socks on when I sleep, Lair calls me a Mexican radiator because of how much body heat I produce @ night.

10. In 2nd grade this jerk of a kid came up behind me while I was twirling on the monkey bars,
I lost my grip, rolled forward & knocked out my two front teeth. The lower half of my two front teeth are fake. I am extremely self conscious about this.

Bon Anniversaire

July 30, 2007 - Monday

Exactly 2 years ago today Lair & I vowed before God, family & friends to love each other without condition... HUGE mistake - kidding - these last 2 years have been the best 2 years of my life - now if we could only move back to Cali :O) Miss & love you all. <>< Soph

As He Grows Inside Me

September 8, 2006 - Friday So it is done, I have finally registered for everything I think our little guy is going to need. I love Target. It is seriously my fave store. He is going to be here so soon. It is the scariest, most exciting, surreal thing I have ever gone through in my entire life- For those of you who are parents I am sure you can relate.

It is still so strange to think about Lair & I becoming parents, afterall he is still in school & well I'm his wife. I always imagined the two of us doing a million things, spending a few years together & then kids would come later. However, the Lord, in all His wisdom, had different plans for the Stantons & now we are having a little boy. It boggles my mind. I am constantly asking myself if I will be ready for baby when he comes. We have not even named him for Pete's sake. By the by we are open to any suggestions, simply send 'em our way.

As my belly grows & baby Stanton tosses & turns inside me I find myself wondering if this little guy is going to love me. Truth be told, the last 6 months have been hell which only leads me to believe that this kid has a jump on all the other kids & has decided to despise mom from the womb. I am not so secretly terrified for his arrival. Pray for my nerves & help to reassure me that I am not in control & the Lord has a plan- a plan far better than anything I could come up with on my own.

I must sign off now I have a day of doing not much of anything at all waiting for me. cheers

Help I am Surrounded By Foam Shoes

August 13, 2006 - Sunday

I haven't been back to Cali in a few months & was wondering if this trash was popular on your (saner) end of the country.

I cannot get over how disgustingly hideous this trash is & why on earth a person would want to put these on their feet. Do they serve an orthopedic function? There are literally entire families who go on outings sporting these flimsy shoes. Men, women & children. They come in a trillion different colors, but honestly is it really that necessary to match from head to toe, are we still trapped in the 80's Ohio? I think we must be. Today @ Costco (while on a short shopping trip mind you) I began to count the trend setting Midwesterners wearing these God awful Crocs on their feet. Can I just say I lost count, I literally could not keep track of how many poor souls fell into this could not be more wrong fad. While I mean to poke fun in all seriousness looking at these "shoes" if you can call them that makes me angry. I cannot help it, just the sight of them boils my blood. If parents want to throw good taste out the window it is their prerogative, but for Pete's sake don't force your children to jump on that sinking ship with you. Come on now, am I wrong about this?

August 19th

August 10, 2006 - Thursday

So my 25th birthday is just around the corner & I am a little weirded out by the whole idea. I'm not so much concerned with the fact that I will be a quarter of a century old so much as I am with the fact that for the first time in my life I will be away from my family & friends.

Last year around this time I had returned from my honeymoon, Lair flew back to OH, I stayed in Modesto to work with RT & then a few days later my dad, mom & sis drove out to OH with me. We spent a lot of time together, went out to eat, decorated our then apt. discovered some of the museums that downtown Cleveland has to offer & celebrated my birthday.

I'm not sure if it's really about me missing home or if I am just being over dramatic & hormonal- afterall I am 1/2 way through this pregnancy. I don't want to be that girl. You know the girl who sits around & pouts on her birthday. I want to enjoy my 3 day birthday weekend. I still have 1 more to celebrate here in Ohio after this one so I should just get over myself & make it the best that it can possibly be w/o any of you beautiful people around, shouldn't I? Ha ha, who am I kidding I have a gold medal in complaining.

above photo from my 24th birthday & first here in Ohio

The New Addition to The Family

May 15, 2006 - Monday

Never in a million years would I have guessed that not only would I be someone's wife @ age 24, live in Ohio of all places & by 25 be someone's mother. Crazy right? It is, it really is, but it is so stinking exciting too! My husband & family could not be more stoked, so I thought I'd share our blessed news with all of you beautiful people too.

Had I known that this was coming up maybe I would not have worked so hard to get to a size 2 again, nor would I have gotten a brand new bikini. The Lord is so good in all His infinite wisdom. I wondered if He laughed when I went nuts on my shopping spree to buy new clothes to fit my new slimmer waist. I'd like to think He did, I know I would have.

This explains so much, truly. It explains why I pigged out on food while in Mexico & CA & why I felt sick on the plane ride home & why I've puked nearly almost everyday these past few weeks.The good Lord took my Grandpa Chacon from us to live with Him & now he has blessed us with a new addition, baby Stanton... I posted a pic of him/her @ 6.5 weeks of age.

Beans is a woman

January 22, 2006 - Sunday

My little girl is all grown up. This morning I woke up & Beans was no longer a puppy, she had become a woman overnight. Oh how they grow. Lair refuses to go anywhere near her, he is acting like the biggest freakin baby "Eww blood." Harass his ace. It's so cute, I bought her these little bloomers & puppy pads, trouble is she is going to be staying over @ our trainer's house who has 2 large Labs. Malley is a chocolate lab & Gunther is her son, he's a black lab puppy & I'm scared he's going to rape my little girl while we're in Vegas.

The Wet Skivvy Situation

November 30, 2005 - Wednesday

Today has been a weird one. I am so fed up with this place we live in. I'm ready for our lease to be up (Jan. 31st) so much that I am constantly browsing the net for new apt/houses to rent. My wish is that we will live closer to where we work. Lair & I live 30 minutes away from our jobs, which are in two separate directions.

Trouble with moving closer to work is that we'll be moving closer to the Snow Belt, as if this place isn't cold enough as it is. The snow has melted away but threatens to show it's ugly face later on this week, until then we're stuck with an eerie cold on again, off again rain/sleet combination. I am rather fortunate that I haven’t had to open at Starbucks but once this week, getting up at 3 am is no fun when your shower time is cut in half, you have to tip toe so as not to wake up the husband or the pup & then there is always the chance that you have to scrape any ice or snow off the car before you can even think about defrosting it. The icicles forming on the undercarriage of our vehicles is an interesting phenomenon.

I worked from 7 am to roughly 3 pm, I made a stop @ the pharmacy before heading home, running through my mind were all of the things that I should be doing that I have been too lazy to really even think about. Upon arriving I stopped to check the mail & take my precious Beans out so she could go ..1 & Lord willing ..2 (aka, big poddy) I froze my ace off while she sniffed around for 20 minutes or so. My ears felt like they were literally freezing right off.

Just before Thanksgiving our washing machine decided to stop working, the water filled up the basin during the rinse cycle & neglected to spin, leaving us with sopping wet soapy clothes (needless to say Lair has been wearing clothes he has not so much as looked at in awhile... while I myself have rotated the same 2 pairs of slacks for the past few days (translastion, more like a week). Being that we live in a townhouse & that we are literally being cheated out of $ (pay way more in rent then is necessary compared to places much closer to work) we get the luxury of a handyman, trouble is thanks to the holiday he could not get here until today, while we were both at work.

Seems strange that someone can just let himself into your house (regardless of whether or not it belongs to you) while you’re away, but I am so thankful that I was not here. Namely because what was written on the work order left on my kitchen table to describe the issue at hand.

The paperwork reads:
Problem description: Resident stated that the washer is not rinsing.

Technician notes: “removed panties from washer drain pump”.

To make matters worse they were the kind of underwear reserved for your husband, I am so embarrassed that my “panties” not even underwear or the word "clothes" was used, but my “panties” (which by the way only makes it sound dirty in a pervert/stalker smelling kind of way) were pulled from the washer drain & left soaking wet on my kitchen counter. I called Lair @ work & he just laughed & kept repeating the word panties. Why did they have to be the lacey kind, why couldn’t they have been briefs? Only me. Only me. After checking the mail I learned that I have a parcel waiting for me in the office, like I’m going to go pick it up, I can just see it now, the smiles, the snickering, and the laughter when I leave the room. Lol. There goes the girl whose “panties” got stuck in the washer. How the heck did they get lodged into the drain anyhow?